Understanding in relationships

When you commit to any type of relationship it goes without saying (or at least it needs to) that there will be compromises between parties. The downer is that one party may find that over time they are doing most of the compromising. I've asked myself a dozen or so times...why is this? In relationships I've concluded that somethings we will never understand and we just need to be alright with that.

I've been married and divorced years ago and now I'm in a great, loving relationship with a wonderful guy going on five years. We get along pretty well as a live-in couple, but there are times when I want to smash his face in because I lack understanding in the things he does. One recent example is the empty shampoo bottle he left on the ledge inside the shower.

I looked inside the bottle, which was completely empty and I went to the kitchen to throw it into the plastics recycle container, which I believe he needed to do. I then walked into the living room and asked my dear significant other why he left an empty container in the shower. He calmly looks at me with his seductive brown eyes probably thinking, why is she asking me this and says, "So you would know that it needs to be replaced." Oh my God I thought to myself; so I know to replace it!! I was livid, but I never let him see me sweat. I replied evenly, "If you know it is empty, why not replace it yourself?" His profound reasoning was, "I don't know what shampoo to buy, that's your area of expertise."

I decided at that point that I needed to let it go because there was no understanding in his logic, and I had no strength to explain the art of communicating a need to another. I simply said, no problem and left the room before my urge to smash his face set in once again!

This is one of many instances where I wonder why I bother and then I search deeper into my heart and I realize I can't change another person, but I can try and be more understanding even though I really don't understand. In plain English...I need to be alright with what is and not over analyze what is not because in relationships whatever type they may be, we will never have a complete understanding of what another person does.