Life's Up's & Down's

I receive a daily message on Face Book entitled, "In The Spirit Matters" and one in particular affected me when I looked back at my life and who I have become through adversity and turmoil.

The message read like this, "It is easy to lash out when something upsets you, but it takes genuine strength & character to show grace and self control in the face of turmoil." from Dori Roberts.

The reason I wanted to share this message with all my "hubbers" is that right now in the world we live in there is so much to lash out and become angry about. From the tragic state of our government, to the terrorist threats and our failed and struggling economy we all have a lot to handle each day. We could lash out in a bitter counterproductive way, or choose to be strong and show grace which we all are blessed to receive and instead reach out to help each other stay above the fray of destruction.

I can share that my life reads like a "Lifetime" movie, filled with more than enough adversity and strife, like it has made itself comfortable perhaps like a shadow I can't out run. Going back to my early 20's after abandoning my college education in the second year, and moving from home on the east coast, out to the west coast in L.A., then quickly falling madly in love with my ex-husband, getting married in a Las Vegas chapel and immediately being blessed with a daughter and four years later a son. Our marriage was rocky to say the least, filled with physical and emotional violence; I ended up leaving and moving back home to my parent's after almost six years of being away, and bringing two young babies and a lot of anger in tow.

I realize some 20+ years later that those earlier experiences gave me an incredible strength and inner confidence. I am now able to make tough life saving decisions in an instant and stand firmly in my choices and live a better more fulfilling life rather than lash out in anger. I will be honest and say I made some wrong choices and many mistakes, but I own them right or wrong.

Now happily in my late 40's my life has evolved as I still struggle to push a huge boulder up the hill called life, to where I envision myself finally getting to my happy place filled with inner peace and a steady income! Today I look into the faces of my two 20 something kids, who are forging ahead to make a life for themselves, and to my parents who are aging and each having health issues such as high blood pressure, arthritis and cancer. I look at my 3 siblings and see how their lives are going in and out, good and not so good, and to my few friends who struggle with their lives, and all need my strong shoulders in which they can come and lay their burdens down. I can do my best for them with grace and self control and my choice is to be positive with them all. It's a choice to stay above and not look down and become distressed.

There were times in the past I played the blame game and did lash out, but it wasn't outwardly, but inwardly. I passively internalized my bitterness and harmed myself with drugs, poor choices in picking mates, overspending and simply put living a reckless lifestyle. That was my old way of lashing out when upset.

With the way the world is today I am so very thankful to God for grace and mercy. I have solid tools in which to put my anger in its proper place. Now while I deal each day with the state of the world, my family, friends, my work and this horrible economic reality we all face, I look head on and with a smile and positive outlook. My mantra is laugh or cry? I choose laughter every time!

When people look at you, what do they see in you? Can they see genuine strength and character within born out of turmoil and sadness? I walk today in the grace of a power greater than myself whom I affectionately choose to call "God" and I face whatever turmoil that comes my way, knowing with all faith that I can survive and help others make their life's path easier to walk through.

Go out today and show your grace & self control and we all can help make this sad world a better place. All our lives depend on it!!